This week was a little bit of a struggle for me. After initially seeing some good results on the scale, things have drastically slowed down and in some parts reversed. This is one of the difficult stages of starting to exercise again because this is when the nagging doubts start to creep in. “Is it worth it?” “Even if you exercise, you probably won’t see any positive outcomes.” And so on. The worst part is it’s my own voice telling me those things. having a history of trying and not succeeding can be a bit of a downer. So as I was having these types of feelings yesterday on my walk, I decided to try something a little different.
I started thinking about the positives that I have seen since I started and thinking about my gratitude for that. When I first started walking again on February 26th, I couldn’t even make it off of my street without being in pain. It was probably 4 minutes in and my back was aching, my legs were fatigued, and I was specifically thinking about the fastest “loop” I could make to end it all. Yesterday I went walking for nearly an hour and a half without any hint of back pain or fatigued legs. When I got home I saw that I had gone 3.92 miles, so I walked a little more to get to 4 miles. I’m truly grateful that the muscles in my back and legs are getting stronger and allowing me to accomplish more.
I’m also grateful just to be outside. As the cover image shows (if you look carefully), I was able to see a very young fox running around its den on my walk. I remember seeing the mother (I assume) back in early march around that same area, so it was neat to make the connection!
I’m also grateful for those who know about the work I’ve been doing and offering me support. I am not my own greatest support system. I do much to try to self-sabotage. The encouragement and checking on my mental state are beneficial to me.
As I was going through the various things that have positively happened for me over the past month and a half, the lack of change on the scale has mattered less for me. It helped me stay positive and walk the furthest that I have in awhile. Yesterday was the first time since November of 2019 that I actually logged 10,000 steps in a day. It’s a milestone for me even when I used to easily hit that consistently. But getting back to that point, and knowing that I could have pushed myself for more is motivation for myself to continue.
So I guess the lesson is that when you’re striving for a goal and things aren’t necessarily going the way that you want, look for the secondary blessings that are coming from your efforts. They’re normally always there, even if you can’t seem to find them very easily. Hopefully at the very least you can use that to alter your mindset and rededicate yourself to your goals.
